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  • Status: Member
  • Shadow Deviant
  • Female/United States
  • Offline for 18h 38m 23s
  • Deviant since Feb 2, 2008, 1:33 AM
  • 22 Deviations
  • 75 Deviation Comments
  • 323 Deviant Comments
  • 1,187 Pageviews

What I see....

Journal Entry: Fri May 16, 2008, 2:04 PM
Today I saw the world end, but believe that nothing happened.
It fell away and nothing moved.
Everyone was gone, yet they wouldn't leave.
I saw myself die ,reaching the the fallen stars, and I just stood by... my soul left so, I remain empty.
I wish the dreams would stop, I can't bare them anymore, I need to sleep.
I want to stop but I keep seeing the world fall, ending every day, I wish to die.
I was lost so long ago that no one could find me, they walk past me everyday and never see me.
If I could stay I would leave and if I should leave I have to stay.
The circle of my ending will go on , and no one sees it.
Why the world doesn't see the end I will never know, I'm just trapped in the between...seeing the end and the now.


To any who read this know it is note a suicide note just me being angsty,like my mood says, I would not do that online if I ever had the urge to do so. I have just been in a rather depressing mood the last couple of days, and the cheerful mood on the last journal was pissing me off.
Ugh.. I really need to JUST sleep, I'm one of those people that don't dream really, but recently I have been and I'm so tried, and the worst part is that the dreams are awful! I keep dreaming people in my family are dieing, and people that know me, in person, will know how that makes me feel. In my family we some times know things, like stuff that will happen or days, and I know that sounds like a lie but it is true, I knew when my sister was having her baby and it was premature by like a month, I told my teacher that I was going to leave early that day cause my sister was going to have her baby. And the day :iconpride-nee: passed out in class I knew something was bad was going to happen. Anyway I'm really freaking out and its making me sleep really bad...I'm so tired.

Any ideas on how to help me sleep is welcome...

  • Mood: Angsty
  • Listening to: VNV Nation
  • Reading: The Queen of the Damned
  • Watching: Resident Evil 3
  • Playing: Mahjong Titans
  • Eating: nothing
  • Drinking: nothing

Devious Information

  • Current Age: 17
  • Current Residence: Texas
  • Interests: reading(novals, manga, fan fiction) writing art (mine and others) video games music
  • Favourite movie: Final Fantiasy VII Advent Children, Labyrinth, Princess Bride, The Crow
  • Favourite band or musician: The Cruxshadows Nightwish Gackt and to many others
  • Favourite genre of music: Industral gothic and rock (all kinds except death metal)
  • Favourite artist: Makoto Tateno, Ayano Yamane, Naduki Koujima, and so many more
  • Favourite poet or writer: Poe and makoblackshadow
  • Favourite photographer: The girl who took my pic in like the first grade was awesome , really made me 'look' sweet
  • Shell of choice: I like rocks more
  • Wallpaper of choice: Zack Fair and Final Fantasy (mostly just Zack)
  • Favourite game: Final Fantasy all
  • Favourite gaming platform: PS2
  • Favourite cartoon character: Zack Fair
  • Personal Quote: To live is to die and each day a piece of your soul is pulled towards the afterlife

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Devious Comments

~Takusi:iconTakusi: 12 hours 37 minutes ago
thanks for the fav ^w^

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*intano:iconintano: 15 hours 34 minutes ago
thank you so much :cuddle:

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~Tidus902000:iconTidus902000: 1 day 15 hours ago
Thankls you so much :hug: ^^

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*THZ:iconTHZ: 3 days 2 hours ago
Hi, thanks a lot for the favs!:)
~monster242:iconmonster242: 3 days 2 hours ago
Thank you very much for the fav :hug:

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=Lavah:iconLavah: 3 days 15 hours ago
thanks a lot for the watch :heart: its deeply apreciated n_n

have a nice day! :hug:

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~SyleneDeFae:iconSyleneDeFae: 4 days 7 hours ago
:D :D :D :hug::dance:

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~SyleneDeFae:iconSyleneDeFae: 4 days 19 hours ago
THANX 4 THE FAV!!

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:pride: If you support Gay Pride, put this in your signature! :pride:
~Loud and Proud
"Cold as a Bleazard, hot as a Bishce."
"Stuffed Crust" :lmao::rofl:
*imaginedmoments:iconimaginedmoments: 5 days 20 hours ago
:wave: Thank you for the :+fav: for "Vigilance" - always most appreciated :hug:

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~exeters-kiss:iconexeters-kiss: 6 days 53 minutes ago
Your welcome!!:glomp:back
~puffibunni:iconpuffibunni: 6 days 1 hour ago
thank you for the watch & faves :glomp:

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*aphostol:iconaphostol: 6 days 3 hours ago
Thanks ever so much for the fav :hug:
=Pygar:iconPygar: May 15, 2008, 3:35:39 AM
Thanks very much for the :+fav: of Come Play!! :thanks: